The Online Dating Dr

I'm going to set myself a challenge, to pick a hot girl and using only the dating tips that I advocate on my blog, I'm going to take you right through the process from initial opening e-mail, getting phone numbers, talking in real life and finally the stage of going on a date.

Selecting a suitable girl



So this young lady stood out on one of the dating sites that I'm currently using.

I imagine she gets inundated with e-mails from all kinds of guys and so wouldn't reply to many which is exactly why I thought she's be a great case study for you guys.

I'm going to break down everything I'm doing, why I'm doing it, what I'm communicating at all times both obviously and more subtly and you can see live how that unveils.

Nothing ever runs like complete clockwork, that's part of the beauty and intrigue that goes into meeting women. They are the most enjoyable puzzles you'll ever come across.



Coming up with a suitable opening email

In order to come up with a suitable opening e-mail, I first have to read through their profile and look for something to work with. The higher quality the girl the more prone she'll be to ignore anything that looks copy and pasted or sounds too generic. Think about it, she's hot and probably has to content with hundreds of messages a day, if you don't stand out from the crowd, she'll simply see you as average and of a lower value than she sees herself.

So let's have a look at her profile and see what we can use to get started?



So after reading through, I've decided that something simple will be fine here to get the ball rolling and we'll talk about cooking as she's mentioned it twice, clearly likes food and types in capitals that being able to cook is a BIG bonus.

So here's my simple little opener:







Ok so let's break down what I'm doing in this simple exchange.

1) I'm starting out not pandering to her needs. How many guys do you imagine have e-mailed this girl telling them what amazing cooks they are, or what their signature dish is? So this is my first chance to stand out from the crowd --as it were -- and demonstrate that I'm not simply a yes man.

2) She replies fairly fast and says that she's going to bed and can I be around to chat tomorrow. Now I pretty much just ignore this as I don't want to lose the control of the conversation and let her take over. At the same time I don't want to be one of those pathetic people that make an excuse just for the sake of being difficult "Oh, no I'm busy tomorrow, but maybe I'll be on next week sometime". Rather than either, I just ignore that and carry on with how I want to take the conversation.

Here's a fact, hot girls like guys that take charge, guys that are in control, strong guys, and that has to be congruent in every aspect of your life and in your communications with each other.

3) Now in my reply I'm again taking control, telling her what she should go for, not simply suggesting, but telling her.

Through communicating the fact that I like M&S food (for any non UK readers, it's -dare I say-- the kind of middle class level of food?) showing that I am a man of taste and like to eat well.

I'm also giving off some of my naughty side by dropping in a touch of swearing. This is actually something I experimented a lot with and the results have been great, but beware not to go too over the top as vulgarity is a huge turn off too. But just that little sprinkling sets the tone to move away from formal and conversations rapidly become more fun as if they respond well (and all of them have) then you'll often see girls drop their guard, and when used sparingly, it actually looks very confident, you're not too fussed about offending her with being you.

Now with regards to swearing, it's certainly not a must and if you're not the kind of guy who ever swears then don't start now, it just won't be congruent with your personality and women will pick up on that a mile away. My profile pretty much lends itself to me being able to get away with this kind of behavior as I'm portrayed as cheeky, a bit daring, trouble, and a lovable rouge.