The Online Dating Dr

Here I'm going to share a step by step run through some messages with a very attractive and intelligent young lady.

As I was contacted by her first, I wanted to push the boundaries slightly with regards to the conversation. I think at times I skated too far to generally talking about other girls and at one point seemed a bit over the top with one of my replies, but it's better to be memorable than too forgettable. If you're clever, you can steer the conversation back in the direction that want, which is that you're a strong, confident man who's not scared to have his own opinions in life and stand by them.

Messages

I've blanked out the pictures, names and ultimately the phone number of the girl in this example.

Enjoy.

Her opener:


My headline is a challenging warning that seems to provoke a reaction fairly often and does much better than dull headers such as "I'm a really, really nice guy just looking for a nice girl".

Checking her profile to find something to get the conversation going:



Since half of her entire about me section talks about what she doesn't want, let's play with that for a bit.



I'm making a little light of what she wrote in her profile but I don't want to dwell on it too long either.


Now I want to get her talking a bit about the ins and outs of online dating and see if I can put together her real impression of it to gauge how to direct the conversation. Some girls have great experiences and will easily meet you, others are tougher nuts to crack.



Now I'm really trying to lay the foundations for having a phone conversation and am going to start pushing my intensions for chatting on the phone to sort out a date and actually meet in the real world. I'm also going to take a line that suggests anything other than that is just abnormal and weird. In my frame, the type of person that I'm attracted to is confident, not shy, happy to chat on the phone and wants to go out, so I am setting up hoops that she'll want to jump through (providing that I don't massively fuck up).



Now this is where I probably push just that little bit too far and boarder line look like I'm going on a rant. If I could do that last message again, I would and would challenge her and that view in the same way but in a more playful tone, a kind of teasing, piss taking way. I think I came off as way too serious when I read it back to the point that she may not jump through the qualifying loops I laid out at the end.

Maybe I'd just use the last two paragraphs on their own and call her a little princess wanna be or something to that effect.

However, she replies and in a way that allows me to turn things back round. I think this goes to show that if you've managed to generate a reasonable amount of attraction then that allows you more room for the odd mistake here and there and it not just be the end of the interaction, which is easily done online.



We chatted after this and all was good. I want to give you as many examples as possible of my online style. I try and go for strong, confident, intelligent, witty and not scared to be challenging whilst for the most part trying to stay playful and fun. Although slightly ranty looking mail from me goes about against some of those grains, the rest of the interaction if fairly true to form and a pretty good reflection of my personality as a whole.